Alice said, "this is impossible," to which the Mad Hatter replied, "only if you believe it is."
Do you know why successful people move forward in life while failures continue to go nowhere in life? Winners believe in themselves. They tell themselves that they are winners. You are a winner. As long as you believe in yourself, you will get what you want. If you work hard for something, you will get it. Winners tell themselves that they can do it. They don't entertain thoughts of failure or feelings of insecurity. Everyday in the mirror they tell themselves how awesome they are and surround themselves with what they love.
Take Tim for example. He's in my class, and I thought he was hot. I really wanted to go out with him -my plan was to smoke and see Alice in Wonderland with him. Then one day after class he asked me for my number! And then he asked me out on a date! We planned on seeing Alice and smoking, just like I had always fantasized. I felt on top of the world - super cute guy from English asked me out! I didn't have to do a thing. I was getting everything I wanted.
You can have whatever you like. If you want it, you can have it. Everything is within your reach, you simply have to wish for it. You deserve the best things in life.
it's possible if you believe it is.
We dropped C off today. Yesterday we smoked in her bathroom. It's cute what an amateur I am at smoking still.
In September, C is going to Japan, and I was thinking of flying with her and spending a few days in Japan and then coming back. I would have to take a few days off from school, but so what?
Yesterday in Subway, the guy was hitting on me strongly. I wasn't wearing any make-up and dressed plainly, and he told me I looked very pretty today and if I was doing something different. Then he told me that he was getting off work in 10 minutes. Some Hispanic guy I've seen once or twice. I declined, but I'm flattered.
For some reason, I want to write a story about a female serial killer. I keep thinking of different ways to start it, or perhaps I would write it from the perspective of different people who met her? For example, one person from her childhood goes on vacation with her, and then another guy goes on a date with her. I don't know what her name is yet.
Am I ever going to find someone legit? Am I ever going to be in a relationship with someone I like? Will I ever have a passionate romance and be with someone for a year or two? I'll be 20 by the 28th and I've never been in a relationship. Fuck. I hate college (it's full of dumb people) and I am not where I wish I was. It's just not fair. I had a crush on T in class for weeks, and then he asks me out, and I felt no connection. Even worse I made out with him. I hate making out with people that I'm not attracted to. I fucking gained back the lbs. I lost. ugh.
I wanna fall in love. I wanna feel my heart race. I want to appreciate every single piece of someone. I wanna have a boyfriend. I wanna be someone's girlfriend. I wanna have awesome sex.
Today we met up before class and made tentative plans. He’s so cute and silly. I txtd, can you txt me the time that the movie starts? and he responded, yes. A minute later, unpromptedly he txtd hey. At that point, I was at the mall and needed a schedule to abide by.
We’ve agreed upon 10:45, and to smoking before. I’m currently waiting for him to call me back. I’m going to drive somewhere and he’s going to pick me up. We have to do that, because it would take too long for him to pick me up. I'm going to leave at 9:45 - I'd rather have too much time than not enough.
I wore the black dress with the gold chains and stockings. Anyway, he smoked and I didn't, and he is shy and insecure as fuck. We did get to talking after the movie because I started asking him questions. He's not very smart, and doesn't seem to have anything going for him. By the end of the night I didn't have a positive opinion of him, although I did kiss him. He tested in basic English and Math, and had to take 5 classes to get into English 1, which is where most 18 years place after college. There's no second date, and I know he's not going to ask me out again. It's so weird - I really liked him from class, but by the end of the night, I wasn't turned on at all. It sucks that it didn't work out - I actually wanted a bf.
I was awake for 23 hours. I woke up at 4, drove to school, went to Cs, went with her to the mall, and then went out with T, and then drove home at 2:30, and fell asleep by 3. I wasn't tired either, I only went to to bed because it was 3am.
I liked Alice in Wonderland. It's about being yourself, following your heart and fighting for what you're passionate about -- I believe in all of that. There's no reason for me to be insecure about. I'm pretty, I'm smart, and people like me. I can do anything I put my mind to. I am a winner. I believe in myself.
omg!!! I feel like a high schooler with a crush. I'm so excited while I'm writing this, as excited as a Twitard who sees Edward Cullen come on stage. If I could, I would end every sentence with !!!!!!!!
Before class started in the classroom, I look up and T is looking at me, and he waves at me so I wave back. He waved at me first, omg! For English, we had to write an essay about our own, personal, quirky pleasures - I wrote about taking risks. My essay was mostly about Daniel. Then I wrote about being a competitive bitch, with a shallow analysis. I finished by the end of class so I didn't have any time to proofread it. I need to write the essay in 40 minutes and then proof read it. If we were allowed to type them I would do a lot better. I hate writing timed essays by hand. I also waited to the end because I wanted to run into T. He told me to wait a second after class and I did, and then we make plans for Tuesday to smoke. (!!!!!!) He asked me about Friday since I have class (omg, Friday is "date" night), but I told him about how I was skipping it for C, so we agreed on Tuesday. OMG, I should have made plans for Friday.
We think the squirrels might be 2 girls. If they're not, then they're not very endowed... I want to name them either Castor and Pollux, the two stars of Gemini, or Castor and Gemini. I don't like the name Pollux. Gemini is a really cute name.
We got a bottle of wine. T txtd me about hanging out Friday night, and we agreed to Alice in Wonderland and smoking before. He did call me, but by then I was so shitfaced that I didn’t answer. I'll wait until the next morning to txt him - I’m playing hard to get, slightl